Food Riot

Not burnt. Blackened. Gottit? I can assure you it was delicious.

Hmmmm. Here I am, a victim of neglect (so neglected that I went to the pub where I was fed cider by people who should know better), waiting for the two of the three women who are important in my life to come home (my dear mother is entirely blameless in this episode) from a clearly-more-entertaining-night-with-workmates-than-with-me. I am lost, abandoned and bereft. A lonely hulk on a misty sea. A man alone, drifting, directionless, neither Dutchman nor flying.

Something needs to be done.

As is the norm, I will lure my girls back with something lovely: the aroma of grilled chicken breasts, all piri-piri-lemon-garlicky, with Portuguese rice – a blend of peppers, onions, garlic, chilli, garam masala, tomatoes and chopped olives. And a delicious, light side salad of lettuce, chard and cucumber. I am so crafty!

So here we have it. Portuguese Grilled Breast of Piri-Piri Chicken with Portuguese Rice and Salad. A dish so simple that it can be cooked by a man who has had a cider transfusion, to be eaten by a pair of delightful ladies who have been beguiled by purveyors of wine and other intoxicating fluid supplements.

By the way, the “Portuguese” element in the name of this dish is simply because to me it feels like it should be there. Well there is piri-piri in the dish, no? So please, don’t get all “No, its Goanese/Spanish/Guatemalan/Mexican etc.” on my ass because its is possible that I will have a dramatically flamboyant bout of hysterics complete with hyperventilating, rending of garments, wailing and gnashing of teeth. And we don’t want that do we?

Ingredients

• Some chicken breasts, skin on, bras removed.

For the marinade

• Some lemon juice
• Some olive oil
• A clove of garlic
• A red chilli
• A healthy teaspoon of hot English mustard
• Some olive oil
• Some fresh rosemary
• A little passata – half a cup should do it
• Salt
• Pepper
• A dash of red wine vinegar

Method for the chicken

• Mix the marinade ingredients in a bowl
• Give ‘em a blast with Brenda the Blender
• Throw the chicken breasts into the blended marinade
• Marinate for 30 minutes, more if you aren’t expecting sozzled ladies to make an immediate appearance
• Grill the chicken for 15-20 minutes under a hot grill, turning once

Ingredients for the Rice

• Basmati rice
• A cup of frozen peas
• A chopped onion
• Two chopped tomatoes
• A finely chopped red chilli
• A teaspoon of ground paprika
• A chopped red pepper
• A clove of garlic chopped
• Fresh rosemary
• A teaspoon of garam masala
• Some chopped Kalamata or black olives
• Salt
• Pepper

Method

• Cook the rice according to instructions on the pack
• In a hot pan, pour a modest amount of olive oil. Get it hot
• Add the chopped onion and garlic
• Add the paprika
• Stir and sweat the onion and garlic
• Add the tomatoes, chilli and pepper and soften
• Add the passata
• Stir
• Add salt and pepper to taste
• Add the peas to the rice when it is about 6 minutes from done
• When the rice is done, drain it and rinse t in a colancer
• Add the rice to the pan with the tomato and onion etc. mix
• Mix

To serve

• Get a nice ladle of rice onto your plate
• place the grilled chicken on top
• place the salad to the side

I won’t insult your intelligence with regard to the salad. Do as I did: open a supermarket salad packet. Add some cucumber, make a vinigarette with honey, lemon juice, red wine vinegar and olive oil. Splosh, mix, serve.

After a suitable interval of post-prandial somnolence, , don’t forget to wake your other half up because dwunk and dithorderly, she would have fallen athleep in fwont of the TV, her tummy filled with delicious food cooked lovingly by you!