Food Riot

Utterly delicious trout cooked by Ross

Whilst most people have children that become doctors, lawyers, graphic designers and civil engineers, I bred a rock musician. This is his band. I can understand the disappointment those other parents might feel when they look at their son or daughter wasting their lives in some fancy surgery, getting rich treating people for their ailments. Bad parenting carries a heavy price.

As if being a musician is not enough, my son is also a barman at The Regent. In fact, he’s a cocktail mixologist – that’s like being a brain surgeon instead of a GP. And he’s a budding chef. I have done well. Good parenting, I believe. Imagine the shame I’d feel if he was an England rugby player with a degree in civil engineering.

Ross with the finished dish. Yes, we tattooed his neck when he was a baby so we could tell him apart from his friends.

Right: Enough boasting. Food!

What happened is this: Ross, for that is my son’s name, informed me that on his night off, he wanted to come round to our place and cook trout. So he did. We purchased a couple of nice, plump rainbow trout from the fish counter at Sainsburys, and took them for a beer at The Regent. Perched on bar stools, we discussed how we’d cook the trout had a couple of a few pints and some banter with Albert, a builder mate of ours from South Africa, Ross’s girlfriend, Marie and several other people before we headed home. Here’s how Ross did the trout… Dead easy!

Ingredients

• Trouts, head on, tail on, gutted and cleaned. One per serving
• Lemons: One sliced, one quartered into wedges, one squeezed and robbed of its zest
• Onion – sliced
• New potatoes
• Chives (ch-ch-ch-chiiii-iiive talking…)
• Thyme sprigs
• Garlic (if you must)
• Cream
• Turmeric
• Sherry
• Salad
  

  The trout, stuffed and ready for the oven

Method

For the trout

• Soften a little garlic – not too much – and place it in the trout’s tummy
• Stuff the trout’s tummy with thinly sliced onions
• Stuff the trout’s tummy with sliced lemons
• Add a sprig of thyme
• smear olive oil on the trout
• Grate lemon zest over the trout
• Grind some pepper over it
• Place in a lightly oiled baking tray
• Bung it in the oven at 180ºC for about 25 minutes. No need for foil wrapping.

Some trout about to pout in an oven for 25 minutes

For the sauce

• In a small pan, warm some cream. Don’t let it boil.
• Add some turmeric to give it a nice, creamy yellow colour
• Add a little mustard powder
• Add a little, subtle, careful drop of sherry
• Add salt
• Add white pepper
• Let it just get hot, stay hot and not boil for a few minutes
• Spoon some over your cooked trout when serving

For the potatoes

• Boil them in salted water for 15-20 minutes, depending on their size
• Drain
• Add salt
• Add a little olive oil
• Add the chopped chives
• Toss
• crush each potato with a fork. You want this to be chunky-rustic

Serve with a nice, fresh rocket and lettuce salad with sliced cucumber.

DEEEEEEELICIOUS!

Post script: I wish to point out that unlike my son, I did not eat the head and tail of my trout. Perhaps he should do that on stage; shades of Ozzy Osbourne with a 21st century twist!